You can’t change reality, but you can change your mindset.  You can control your reaction, feelings and emotions.

I sat in my hotel room in Pagosa Springs with my CDT maps spread across the bed. My eyes followed the thin, red line of the CDT. I heard rumors that the trail ahead would be easier and less sketchy, but I wanted to see what clues my maps would reveal to me. How bad did this look? Did I really want to be up there again in snow?  Sometimes, I could tell the trail would be safe, like sections where the trail followed a high plateau. But then my eyes would focus on sections where the trail followed next to a steep cliff. I tried to imagine what it would be like… Would it be dangerous again?

.

I asked myself:

.          Did you enjoy the CDT in the last section?

.

Almost immediately, my legs started to shake in fear. The answer was painfully clear.

.

I stopped looking at the maps. I already had my answer.. It was time to follow a lower, safer route through Colorado. I would be safer and much happier following the alternate trail at lower elevation.

It ended up being a really enjoyable section for me. But, it was so quiet out there. I only saw 2 CDT hikers, on trail, between Creede and Twin Lakes.   I tried to embrace the alone time. I don’t have to be surrounded by people for the entire trail. So I did my own thing, slept in, hiked late, and ran into plenty of moose along the way. I was safe, and I still had a continuous footpath.

I was happy.

I made it to Twin Lakes last Sunday, and Will came to pick me up. I decided to take a week off trail, so I could wait for my friends to catch up to me. It’s been nice to rest at home, and I have been eating so well this week!

I am excited about heading back to Twin Lakes soon, and hopefully, I will see more than 2 hikers in my next section.    🙂

Just a quick update to let everyone know that I made it to Colorado last night!!   Of course, the trail is already getting significantly harder.  Yesterday, I was lost in a maze of snow and blowdowns for most of the day.  I would check my GPS, get back on trail, and almost immediately get lost again. In the snow, there is no trail.  And trying to stay on trail is a pointless waste of time.  My friend, who left after me, and mostly navigates with maps arrived at camp before me.  I just looked at him when I rolled into camp at 9:15 and laughed.  Sometimes, maps are just better than GPS.   Or maybe I’m just completely hopeless.  🙂

I’m currently in Chama, NM and getting all geared up for the next section.  I have added snowshoes, an ice axe, water-proof socks, microspikes and warmer layers.   My pack is going to weigh a ton tomorrow, but I am excited to hike the snowy San Juans!  

I have a feeling that I am in for the hardest 2 weeks of my life.  I hope that I have what it takes.  

Sorry for the short update, but a girl needs her sleep!!

PS: Thanks to Will/Estero for spending the weekend in Taos with me.  Can’t wait to see you again soon!  ❤

I wasn’t supposed to fall in love out here, but I couldn’t help myself.  I met him on the CDT on my first night out of Grants, NM. His trail name was Miles, and he loved hiking.  What was worse was that he had eyes that melted my heart.  

Damnit.  Not again.  No no noooo.

Help.

I first heard about the stray dog on my walk out of Grants.  Another hiker messaged me to say that a stray dog was found wandering around on trail following hikers.  My group made it about 20 miles that day and I had forgotten about the stray dog by the time we set up camp.

I forgot about it until a dog randomly wandered into our camp.  We scratched our heads, laughed, and gave him water.  He was covered in ticks and had no collar… most likely a stray vs runaway. I ate my dinner in my tent and stared at the dog through the bug netting.  I didn’t want him to become my problem.  This was MY cheese.  Go away, dog.  And if you even touch my tent, heaven help you.  That night, he curled up to sleep inches from my head.  I heard him quietly sighing all night.

The next day, my group woke up really early for a morning summit on Mt Taylor.  As I slid on my backpack, I saw the dog heading away from the trail.  Yes!!  I could sneak away.  This would be easy!

It didn’t work.  The dog magically beat me to the summit of Mt Taylor.   When I made it up there, he gave me this judging look like “Finally..  What took so long? Are you sure you’re a thruhiker?”

Crap. I looked at the dog and then 5,000 feet down at Grants.  Why did town have to be so far away?  It wasn’t even an option to go back now.  I tried to ignore him as much as I could, but the dog just kept following us anyway.  We talked about what to do with him.  Do we throw rocks at him?  Do we feed him our “extra” food and call an animal rescue group in 80 miles?  Will the dog even last that long?  I checked my map and tried to find closer towns, but we were in the middle of nowhere.  Was there even a “right” thing to do?  I had no answers, but I started rationing my food.. just in case.

I finally gave in and started feeding the dog my food.  I am weak.  I couldn’t abandon him to his slow death. He made it obvious that he would just keep following us to our next town.  And I didn’t want to look behind me and watch him starve to death.

I finally got phone reception on the side of a mountain.  The dog and I took a break in the shade while I called an animal rescue group.  The lady on the other end listened to my story and seemed honestly concerned.  But she told me that she was currently full.  She told me to call back when I made it to town.  I clung to hope that someone could help us.

I called back the animal rescue group when I was 3 hours from town.  There was no answer, so I left a message on voicemail.  I also tried animal control and the non-emergency police number.  They all went to voicemail and I left messages for them to call me back.  A mile from town, I started to worry… Nobody had called me back, and I absolutely couldn’t keep the dog in my hotel room.  I guessed that he wasn’t housebroken, and would pee and poop all over my hotel room, not to mention his tick infestation.  In one last ditch effort, Craiglist and the animal shelter in Grants were checked for missing dogs.  Nothing came back.

I briefly thought of keeping the dog on trail.  But it wasn’t the right thing for me to do.  The unofficial motto for the CDT is “Embrace the Brutality.”  I willingly signed up for this sufferfest and the dog did not. It simply wasn’t fair for him to walk to Canada with me. Plus I am hitting some serious Colorado snow in the next section, and it would be dangerous for Miles to join me.

I had to make a painful decision.  I looked at him, tears pooling in my eyes and told him that I loved him, that he was a good dog who deserved a family, and that we were out of options.  We walked by a few farms and I turned to him and said “No!”.  He looked confused until I said it again.  “NO NO NO”.  I walked away quickly.  The last time that I saw him, he was sitting under a sage bush.  It broke my heart, but I didn’t know what else to do.  And who knows…maybe animal control would have put him down anyway.  Maybe this actually was the best option for him, even if it ripped me apart to walk away.

Miles.. happy trails to my sweet boy..  it was a pleasure to hike with you.  And I am so sorry.

For everything.

The other day, I was hiking, and suddenly, the sky opened up and it started to hail.  I looked up and smiled.  The hail was a welcome relief from the constant sun and heat.  I quickly pulled out my umbrella and kept walking without missing a beat. 

I eventually caught up to my friend sitting under a tree.  He was talking to an older gentleman– maybe mid 60s, who was dressed in a clean khaki outfit. The older man introduced himself to me as “Doug the Hermit” and told me that he had a cabin tucked away close by.

What??  A hermit?  Really??  I had never met a hermit before, but somehow I envisioned black robes, and a long white beard.  Maybe someone who looked like Gandalf or Santa Claus?  Apparently, I was totally wrong!

Hanging out with Doug the Hermit

Doug told us that he was a Roman Catholic hermit and he had been living here, alone, for 18 years.  He had friends in “the real world” and leaves his cabin once a year to get supplies.  I kept asking him if he ever got lonely, and he would laugh and shake his head. He made it sound like he had plenty to occupy his time.. making meals, gardening, hiking, and praying.  We kept asking him questions about his life… and then I asked him if his cabin had wifi and he laughed at me.  Whoops, guess not.   🙂

My hiker friend and I had more miles to make, so we had to leave Doug.  That night, I camped at the Gila River with 4 other hikers.  And I kept thinking about Doug.  And the more I thought about him, the more impressed I was with his religious hermitage.  I have spent many nights camping, but what makes this whole adventure worth it is that I’ve shared these experiences with other people.  And I admit, for me, sharing these moments and trails with other hikers makes it so much easier too.  At times, my hiking experience is like a smelly slumber party with my best friends.

We have hiked across beautiful parts of New Mexico lately, and I can’t wait to see what Northern New Mexico has in store for us!  Enjoy the photos!

photo by JPEG 🙂